A few months ago I attended a Korean banquet in Oakland. The event was sponsored by a local education association and both my wife and I attended. An old friend of mine named Dan was a guest speaker. Dan had just completed a book in English about Korean proverbs and was signing and selling copies in the lobby of the banquet hall. I knew Dan from the early 1970s when we were both Peace Corps volunteers in Korea. I don't know of any non-Korean who studies, appreciates, and understands Korean culture more than Dan. He is a great admirer of everything Korean.

As the meal began, my wife and I took our places at the front table along with Dan and other honored guests. We had some enjoyable conversation both in Korean and in English. We traded stories about our old experiences in Korea. After the eating was complete, the entertainment began. Dan gave a brief speech in Korean and then sang a traditional Korean song a cappella. The Korean audience was amazed that a person without one drop of Korean blood was able to speak and sing Korean so well.
The entertainment continued. First there was a competition by different Korean schools in the Bay Area. About a dozen kids from each of the competing schools would walk to the stage and sing or pantomime or do a skit. Some of these schools were Christian-sponsored so there were lots of "Jesus" songs and "Hallelujahs". After the awards were given to winning schools, the entertainment continued. At this point, some of the school children left, but many remained in the banquet hall.

The entertainment now turned to audience karaoke. I hate to admit this, but I enjoy karaoke about as much as I enjoy a root canal. First, I don't know any of the words; next I don't recognize any of the tunes; next, they sing the same songs over and over; next the sound is ear-shattering / mind-numbing; and finally, none of the karaoke singers can really sing. If they could sing, they wouldn't need the smothering support of electronics. (Don't tell the devil this, but if he were to prepare a special hell for me, it would be located in the everlasting karaoke bar.) To enhance the effect of the karaoke singing, the MC would ask people in the audience to tell jokes between songs. One old gentleman got to his feet laughing as he grabbed the microphone. My Korean isn't too good, but I managed to understand his joke. I saw the exaggerated motions and I heard the words, "zipper", "Cadillac" and "Volkswagen". My wife stared down at her napkin in embarrassment. Dan's face turned pinker than it normally is. The audience was quiet for a moment, then laughed, and then the next karaoke singer walked up to the microphone. During a lull in the karaoke, I spoke to Dan "You know that this banquet is sponsored by an Education organization, you know that there are school children in the banquet hall, you just heard all the "Jesus" singing. Why in the world would anyone want to tell a joke like that? In an American setting that behavior would totally unacceptable." Dan sighed and replied, "I've been studying these people for 30 years and I still can't figure them out". Move over Dan. You're not alone.